I had a date with Ben it was bad but not as bad as this writing.

I was looking really good, My lips were just perfect. I opened the door and stepped into the restaurant. He was sitting there and the first thing I noticed was beard, gross. Where did that come from? I mean I almost didn’t want to go sit down, but I figured what the hell, at least it will be a story. I mean I’m already here, At least I can make this guys night for him right? I go over to the table.
“Hi, I’m Sharon.”
He looks up at me and smiles, gross beard smile. “Nice to meet you Sharon, I’m Ben.” He doesn’t get up to pull out my chair for me, it’s probably better, I don’t want him getting too close to me. He’s not saying anything, great, a guy who doesn’t know how to talk and has a beard.
“How are you doing?” I ask. Let’s see the wine list, at least I can get my moneys worth.
“I’m pretty good,” he says, “you?”
“I’m ok, I had a terrible time getting here, I was going to drive but then I remembered I hate parking down town. Right? So I took a cab, and oh my god, let me tell you.” I wave a perfectly manicured hand in front of my face.
“It smelled?”
“And I should have seen it coming, but I forget what their like.” I’m probably going to get the merlot, and the salmon, I heard from Suzie that the salmon here is amazing.
“What?”
“Well, they don’t have the same standards that we do.”
“Who don’t?” He sounds like he’s getting worked up for some reason, it’s probably the beard, it must irritate his face.
“Cabbies,” I think I’ll probably skip desert, he seems kind of boring.
“Yes, filthy folks cabbies, we should have them all shot.” Did I just hear him right? I replay the sentence in my head and lower the wine list to look at him. He’s just looking at me. Is he some sort of crazy person? Is he joking?
“Are you joking?”
“ Oh no,” he says, “ I really want to shoot anybody who drives a cab.” So he’s one of those assholes who thinks he’s funny, great. This is going to be a long night.
“In fact I’m going to go look for some cabbies right now.” He gets up. “It wasn’t that nice to meet you.” and he walks out the door. People with beards are so weird. Gross.